Faith in Hope

God’s love is looking for us, no matter how lost we may feel. And God’s searching love can find us, no matter how many times we may have fallen into sin. God’s hands of mercy are reaching out to pick us up and forgive us.

Hope, Day 3 Celebrate Recovery Daily Devotional

It was raining when I first arrived in Hong Kong

This photo was taken when I first arrived at my hotel room in Hong Kong. The hotel was Conrad Hotel at Admiralty Hong Kong. The room was walled with see through glass with a view of tall hills and buildings. There was the big bed, the biggest bed I ever seen. Seems like seven people can sleep on to it. The massive window is the entire wall of one side of the hotel room. I never experienced this luxury before, even when I had my trip in Malaysia. It is not the travel, tour nor the luxury. What I cannot forget was that one night, I was sitting on that large bed, tucked in a thick comfy beddings and my back leaned on the soft pillows. Every detail of the room was oriental. While wrapped in fine white robe, I was there feeling so empty, so alone. My eyes darted to the empty cozy room. Wandering no where… nothing else where.

The welcome complimentary tea at the Hong Kong Conrad Hotel

I thought I had it all, I thought the travel and seeing places would make me happier. But all the more I discover that having them all doesn’t really satisfy, all the more I sank to depression.

I still went to Palawan after the Hong Kong trip

Lord I pray I would be able to finish my yoga session today. I whispered as I do the warrior pose. The clouds were gathering and it begins to cover the sun. I was a bit late again going down from my condo unit to the pool side. I was busy resurrecting and reconnecting then updating the profiles of my Tumblr and Pinterest. I just realized that being a blogger, I have to be up to date with a lot of social media platforms aside from Facebook, Insagram and Twitter. The good thing is with Instagram, with one post, it will automatically post to Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr at once. So I noticed also that looking at Twitter and FB, I had the trigger for anxiety – with stimuli from all the pictures and the pressure to get more likes and followers. I have to be careful with this, so I will quit following those twitter “reblog” sites and just post one time with Instagram.

Ma’am are you coming up? The pool attendant asked me. The wind was getting strong. Sure enough as I reached the lounge, the heavy rain fell. The wind so strong, that through the glass window I could see the rain drops falling almost parallel as it splatters on one side. I was able to finish my yoga prayer. God heard my prayer.

Too many times I do not know what do I need to pray and ask for. Maybe because I am lost. Many times I feel numb. My mind floats or just wants an escape. If you ask me do I want to go through all this again. Five failed relationships with men almost half my age. Four of them took advantage of me financially, two of them verbally abused me… all five of them left me… or maybe I have left them. I was mocked, laughed at, neglected, taken for granted. I was paranoid they have played with my feelings and embarrassed to be with me. If I will be given a second chance, do I want to go through it over again? The pain no, the learnings yes. I heard Paul Tan-Chi, the second son of Pastor Peter Tan Chi tell a story. Why does God doesn’t display in grandeur the answers to all of our questions in the sky. Why don’t He write on the clouds for the so many questions we ask. Why? Because God chose to use people to bless and teach each other. God pursues and He is waiting for us to choose Him.

Prayer

Dear Father, thank you for walking with us, helping us to carry all our burdens, real and imagined, Thank you for loving us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

– Day 2 Celebrate Recovery Devotional, You Version Bible App

But just one simple prayer today, Lord please hold the rain. I want to finish my yoga prayer session. God answered, yes, but after that my child take cover for I will send a mighty rain.

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11:6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

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